The happiest day and the saddest day.

Went to watch the NDP Preview. The turnout was uncountable. The fireworks were breathtaking. The marching and the formations were spectacular. The airshow was superb. And the performance was boring. Haha. I guess pple shared the same sentiments as many left in the middle of the perfromance.

It didnt occur to me that I was the culprit. All along i thot LZR was responsible for the incident that took place after the 1st group A mtg 1 yr ago...heaven knows i was part of it too. The news came like an asteroid hitting against me. I was crushed. Mentally. I cried very very hard. So hard, for once i felt like breaking down. I was totally drained, worn out, exhausted, whatever you can use to describe the fatigue.

I have never thot that I would be termed an irresponsible person...esp when it was only the 1st mtg...can u imagine the lousy impression i left on others? Forget abt whether i've changed for the better or whatsoever. Whats done couldnt be undone. If i were in MX shoes, i would nv forgive the person(s) that made me cry. Today we are such good frens...good group mates. To think she didnt take it to heart even thou i did hurt her before. One wouldn cry if he/she wasnt hurt. You undstd? If someone were to hurt me, i think i have the perfect reason not to forgive and forget.

Why wasnt i scolded for my behaviour then and there? I would have felt so much better. Or rather i wouldnt have felt so bad. So guilty. I cried not just becuase i made MX cry. I cried cos i was angry and disappointed with myself and childish, stupid, silly and foolish behaviour.